Emily's Story

I was browsing diaryland and came upon your site. I read your entry about people being depressed and I have to say that it wasn't too long ago that I was going to cut myself to death. I don't know what made me start or precisly when, but I guess it was just a build up of stress and loads of little things that were making a bigger and bigger chip in my shoulder. I wanted to die watching myself bleed. I couldn't deal with my new private school (I went into grade 9 this year) and all its fakeness and it was disgusting how gross I felt about everyone and everything. I couldn't talk to anyone about it.

One day, when I went as deep as I could, I just threw up. I couldn't deal with myself. For some reason, that was the day I started to get better. I don't know what it was. Just showed me how gross I was feeling. It got out of me and I haven't cut in three months. I never saw anyone about it, luckily for me I don't scar almost at all, which is good because the only people who know are my best friends. (3 girls, 3 guys [our fellowship]) I've now assigned therapy to myself. I listen to music everyday for two hours: Punk, emocore, folk, acid, altern. Anything. I'm getting better and when I read your entry I cried. It was me. It was exactly me down to the commas and wording. That's exactly how I felt and I've never seen anyone say it. Thank you for writing it in a way that makes so much sense. It makes me happy that I got better. I'm a 15 year old girl who would have died without really loving or my heart breaking or any of the other important things that could happen in a person's life. Thank you.

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